All My Life
by McDiggin'It
Summary: Merlin ponders on how long he'd been in love with his wife of 10 years. Modern Mergana!


Title: All My Life

Summary: Merlin ponders on how long he'd been in love with his wife of 10 years.

…

In the corner of a luxurious hotel room in France, sat a man holding a coffee mug as he stares out the window. He smiles to himself as he remembers something from seemingly very long ago. A promise he'd made to the woman he's been in love with for nearly all of his life. The woman who stole his breath from the moment he saw her.

...

I was six when the prettiest girl I had ever laid eyes on, moved into the house across the street from mine. I watched her from my window as she jumped out of her dad's luxurious SUV, and skipped up towards the door of their house.

I remember it like it was yesterday, the light green dress she wore, the pigtails in her hair, the dark green barrette holding down her short bangs, and her shiny black shoes shimmering in the sunlight. I had thought to myself that day, " _she's perfect"_ , before my mother called me downstairs to help her tend to her garden of roses.

I was 2 days short of seven when summer was over and I was finally in the same room as the pretty girl from across the street. I remember finding out her name, Morgana, and how all the girls wanted to be her friend and all the boys wanted to give her their last cookie or chip.

I stayed far away from her though, knowing that pretty girls like her don't talk to weird, nerdy boys like me. I was a school joke. The odd boy who never spoke unless spoken to. I avoided looking at anyone and often times would find myself running from bullies after school. I pretty much kept to myself and quite liked it that way. That is, until I watched Morgana accept Alvarr's (the biggest bully in my class) last cookie at lunch.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to actually say something. I didn't, of course… but I wanted to. I wanted to tell Alvarr to back off, and I wanted to tell Morgana that I think she's the prettiest girl in the world. But I kept my mouth shut. And I did that flawlessly.

I was 13 when I watched Alvarr ask Morgana to be his girlfriend. I seethed silently, could feel my face burning, could hear my own heartbeat thudding loudly in my chest as I waited to hear what Morgana's answer would be.

All the girls in our class were cheering and egging her on to say yes, and all the boys are clapping Alvarr on the back for being the first boy in class to ever ask a girl out. I was already sick to my stomach.

I left before Morgana answered, but I could hear the cheers of my classmates as I leaned against the row of lockers out in the hallway and slid down onto the floor as my eyes began to water.

I was 14 when I saw Morgana slap Alvarr on the cheek and tell him that they are through. Alvarr hadn't looked too pleased as he roughly grabbed Morgana's arm and yanked her towards him. Morgana had cried out in pain, and I have no idea what went over me in that moment.

All I know, is that I saw red, and then everything went black. When I came to, I found myself straddling Alvarr, blood spewing from his nose and mouth as I pulled my bloodied and bruised knuckles back from his face.

One of the teachers had pulled me back then and sent me to the Principals office while Alvarr got sent to the nurses office. Morgana had also been sent to the Principals office, but I avoided looking at her and pretended to not even know her.

My mother was upset when she came to pick me up, telling me that she hadn't raised me to be violent. I had felt horrible because she was right, but I did not for one second regret defending Morgana from that pig Alvarr.

As I was leaving the Principals office with my mother, Morgana had stopped me by calling my name. She'd said my name several times throughout the years of being in the same class together, but she had never said it in the way that she said it then. She said it with so much admiration.

When I looked at her, she had smiled at me and looked at me through her lashes before softly saying, "Thank you." I nodded and smiled back at her, and as I walked away, I felt like the coolest boy in the world.

I was 15 when Morgana started dating Chris, the captain of the football team who was nearly 3 years older than us. He was tall, blonde, masculine, athletic, and really good at football. He was basically a football playing Ken doll. The ultimate boyfriend. Every girl in secondary school wanted to be with him, and every guy wanted to _be_ him. And of course, the Ken doll wanted Morgana.

By that time, I had gone through puberty and was beginning to fill out and grow taller. My hair had gotten longer, my jawline had become more prominent and stronger, my shoulders had gotten a little broader, and my abdomen no longer resembled that of a prop skeleton. I was, for lack of a better couple of words, becoming a man.

It was at a party when I _finally_ actually spoke more than 3 words to Morgana for the first time ever. Perhaps I was feeling bold, or perhaps it was the way she looked so lonely, or perhaps it was the five plastic solo cups of strong, brownish liquid that Gwaine, my best friend, kept pushing into my hands. Maybe it was all of those things, but I found myself staring at her from across the backyard pool.

I was looking at her and she was looking right back at me, and then I just dived into the pool in my white shirt, blue jeans, and socks. I swam over to her and smiled widely at her when she laughed at me and moved to sit at the edge of the pool with her feet in the water. I asked her how her night had been and she poured her thoughts out to me, telling me everything and how she feels like her relationship is too much for her and how she feels unappreciated and isn't happy anymore.

I told her that she deserves to be and should be with someone who recognizes all the great and wonderful things she is. We talked for 2 whole hours before I began seriously shivering and she suggested I get home and get into some dry clothes. Before I left, Morgana pulled me towards her and kissed me on the cheek before thanking me for making her night worth it.

The next day, Chris and his friends cornered me in the locker room after gym, and then proceeded to beat the crap out of me after accusing me of being the reason why Morgana broke up with him. I walked home that day, bloodied, bruised, and in physical pain, but smiling as if I'd just had the most wonderful day at a spa center.

I was 16 when Morgana stopped me in the hallway at school and apologized for getting me in trouble with her horrible ex-boyfriend and his friends. I had told her that she is worth the trouble before leaving hurriedly when the bells for the first class of the day rang.

It is two weeks after that when Morgana showed up at my doorstep with a plate of cookies, smiling apologetically at me. I couldn't say no to her, so I invited her inside, told her again that it was not her fault that I still have a yellowish bruise on the side of my face, and then asked her if she wanted to watch a movie with me.

From that day on, Morgana became a regular at my house. Every day after school, she would come over and study with me. I would make popcorn afterwards and we would watch a movie together.

It's a month after that when she somehow got my number and began texting me everyday. We started spending a lot of time together, sometimes falling asleep during a movie and getting woken up by my mother in the middle of night when she got off work.

Slowly but surely, we became best friends, and towards the end of year 11, I asked her to go with me to the end of year ball. She agreed, and I kid you not, when I saw her in her beautiful green dress, walking down the stairs in her house, it was like the first time I laid eyes on her. Except this time, instead of thinking she was the prettiest girl in the whole wide world, I thought to myself as I slipped her corsage around her wrist, _I'm in love with the prettiest girl in the whole wide world_.

I was 18 when we made the decision to go to Uni together. We made big plans, decided that we were going to be inseparable, packed our bags and went on our way to start our new journey together. Things went great at first, but then slowly but surely, we began to grow apart.

We'd never established a label between us, only choosing to call each other best friends. I've wanted to many times to tell her that I love her, but there was just never a good time.

School work began to really pile up on us, and we began to lose touch. We had different majors, her in Pre-med and I in Criminal Justice, so we ended up not having any classes together. And seeing as how we were not studying for the same tests, we had to study on our own to avoid confusion and distractions. By the end of our first year of Uni, we were almost back to being strangers.

By the end of our second year, we were hanging out with other people and barely ever spoke to each other.

In the beginning of third year, I met a really nice girl named Freya, and we started dating. We became serious fairly quickly, and after our third year, we were practically living together in each others dorm rooms.

At the beginning of my final year at Uni, Freya had a pregnancy scare and I nearly cried with joy when she called a false alarm. Freya was an amazing girlfriend, but I just wasn't ready to have a child with her.

By the end of of our final year, Freya realized that I had never thought about a real future with her, and she ended our relationship. I was sad, but I wasn't as sad as I thought I'd be.

As graduation day approached, I found myself thinking about Morgana and how much I've missed her. I called her, half hoping she wouldn't answer, but she did, and I found myself tongue-tied before I hung up without saying anything. She called me back about 5 minutes later, telling me that she had my number saved and that she knows that I called her. I tried to play it off cool at first, but at her silence, I decided to tell the truth and told her how much I've missed her.

On graduation day, she told me that she was going to be moving to France to pursue a career there. That was the moment I panicked, and for the first time in my life, I told Morgana what I truly felt about her. I told her I've loved her in many different ways over the years, but it was clear to me _then_ more than ever, that I had loved her every moment of everyday, since the first moment I laid eyes on her, jumping out of her fathers luxurious SUV, with pigtails in her hair, a barrette in her bangs, a beautiful little green dress, and shiny black shoes that shimmered in the sunlight.

I was 25 when Morgana returned from France, eyes sweeping the airport pick-up lounge for my dark hair and blue eyes. I smiled as I waited for her to notice me standing by a pillar with a bouquet of flowers. As soon as she saw me, she dropped her bags on the floor and bounded towards me, launching herself into my waiting arms, pressing her lips against mine and tightening her arms around the back of my neck. She pulled away after several minutes and buried her face into my neck before sobbing uncontrollably into my shirt.

"I hope you got France out of your system." He jokes.

Morgana pulls away to nod at him. "Yes... I'm never going back. At least not without you."

Merlin nods and smiles at her. "Maybe we'll visit there together someday."

"Promise?" Morgana asks softly in that soft tone that makes his heart melt.

He nods and kisses her lightly on the lips. "I promise."

Morgana sighs blissfully and tells him, "I missed you so much."

Merlin smiles and nods at her. "I missed you too… more than you know."

"More than I know?" Morgana asks rhetorically. She smiles and shakes her head as she presses her forehead against Merlin's. "I've been in love with you since I was six, from the moment I saw you outside your house in those pale blue jeans, grey flanneled shirt, and black work boots, helping your mom with her rose garden. I watched you and wanted to talk to you, but you always seemed to keep your distance from me. When Alvarr asked me to be his girlfriend, I only said yes because you walked out of the room without any indication that you even felt anything for me. I kept on with that pathetic so-called relationship because I was hoping it would push you to say or do something. Instead, you just seemed to not even notice or care. That is until I broke up with Alvarr and he had roughly grabbed my arm. One moment you were standing from across the hallway, and the next you were punching Alvarr as if your life depended on it. I had never been so fascinated with violence." she smiles and looks lovingly at the man before her, smiling back at her with tears in his beautiful blue eyes. She continues softly, wanting to tell this man everything she'd always felt for him. "I dated Chris because I thought that he would help me move on from being so hung up over you. But then you started going through all these physical changes, and I found myself becoming even more attracted to you than I'd ever thought possible… and then you were drunk at that one party and you dived into the pool. I poured my heart out to you and told you how I was unhappy with Chris… I had never been happy with him to begin with." she shrugs and smiles. "And you told me that I deserved someone who appreciated me for the wonderful person I am… but I wanted so badly to tell you that I wanted _you_ to be that someone. So I kissed you on your cheek and thanked you." she blushes as she looks up at Merlin. "Time went by and we became the best of friends, doing practically everything together except what I really wanted, which was to completely be with you… then Uni came around and we grew apart, then you dated that girl Fiona."

"Freya." Merlin corrects with a laugh.

Morgana shrugs and smirks at him. "Don't care. Point is, you dated her and it hurt me when I found out… I know you got pretty serious with her, but obviously not serious enough if she actually ended your relationship because you didn't see a future with her. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not." she smiles at him. "Because I love you, Merlin. I've loved you since I was six years old. And when you told me how you've felt about me at Uni graduation, I had never felt so much happiness in my entire life… until right now, being here in your arms, with you, looking into those blue eyes that I love… finally." Morgana whispers with tears in her green eyes.

"Finally." Merlin repeats softly with tears welling up in his own eyes. "After all this time." he smiles and Morgana nods. The young man then takes a step back and shakes his head as a small chuckle leaves his lips. "If I'd just opened my mouth and asked you to be mine."

Morgana frowns then at him and asks aloud, "You never actually asked me out, you know?"

Merlin freezes at that as he thinks back to their long distance relationship and how they kind of just mutually agreed to try being together. They had made a lot of effort to see each other, have Skype dates, as well as texting and calling each other all the time... but not once did he ever formally ask her out. "Huh." He cocks his head to the side and scratches his head. "You're right."

"Of course I am." Morgana grins.

"Well," Merlin nods and takes a step back, "in that case," he takes her hands in his, then asks, "Morgana Pendragon?"

"Yes, Merlin Emrys?" Morgana asks with a giggle.

Merlin smiles lovingly at her. "Will you officially be my girlfriend?"

The woman doesn't answer as she launches herself into Merlin's arms and kisses him passionately. When they finally pull away, Morgana sighs with a blissful smile and whispers, "Yes."

Merlin smiles happily and picks her up, twirling her around. They have a lot to work through and a lot to work on. Thankfully, they've got the rest of their lives to do that.

...

"Hon?"

Merlin looks up from his coffee mug and smiles at his wife of 10 whole years. "Yeah."

"Ready to go?"

Merlin smiles as he gets up and goes to her, pulling her against him and pressing his lips against hers. A low moan escapes his wife's lips as he grabs her buttocks and grinds his front against hers.

"Ewww!"

A voice breaks them apart from each other, both turning to look at its owner.

"Gross, mom and dad!" Another voice chimes in.

"Yeah, get a room!" A third voice joins.

Merlin and Morgana exchange looks before laughing hysterically. Morgana smiles at their 3 children and shrugs, "Not my fault your father is such a hunk."

"Ewww, mom!" The eldest of the three, Vivian cries in disgust and pulls her little brothers to her sides before pressing her hands on one of their ears.

Merlin chuckles as he kisses his wife's forehead. "Alright, who's ready to go back home?"

Simultaneous cries of "Me!" echoes throughout the hotel room as the Emrys clan heads back home.

...

A/N: Totally out of the blue one shot with almost no point. But as you all know, Mergana is always welcomed in our world. Anyways, I'll be updating "The Art of Falling" next, so look out for that next chapter! Hope you guys liked this oneshot. Let me know what you think!

P.S. I wrote this whole thing in an hour and a half, so don't hate me for any grammatical errors, please.

-McDiggin'It


End file.
